50 Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life NOW-From our friends at Shameless Sex Podcast!
Our good friends Amy and April from Shameless Sex sent out a really nice article detailing 50 sexy tips on spicing up your holiday…and we wanted to share with our wonderful readers as well! And please, subscribe to Amy and April’s amazing podcast, Shameless Sex, and sign up to receive their awesome newsletters…just like this one!
1. Try giving and receiving nights. A few rules: the giver does not get to receive on the same night as when they give. Penetrative sex is off the table. And the receiver gets to make two requests for what they’d like to receive + the giver gets to negotiation what they are willing to give.
2. Buy your lover a gift – some clothing or jewelry. Be waiting wearing nothing but the gift when they come home from their day.
3. Surprise your partner by decorating your kitchen + cooking dinner from a specific theme/country. A night in Italy! A night in Thailand! A night in Peru! Mmmmm!
4. Spend your evening playtime touching and exploring – but with no words! Speak through touch and silence.
5. Give your partner a sensual massage for no reason. Use lots of body-safe oils all over the body. And use more than your hands to massage (forearms, breasts, get creative!)
6. Let your inner primal animal come out! Have sex where all parties are only allowed to act and sound as an animal of their choice.
7. Gift handwritten love letters to each other on fancy stationery. Seal it up with a kiss!
8. Play the word game. Say a sensual/arousing/erotic word, and then your lover can say a word in response. Repeat as long as desired and get aroused!
9. Learn how to say sexy phrases to each other in another language. Choose 5-6 words or phrases and have sex while only saying those words/phrases.
10. Ravish nerve endings that don’t always get touched. Spend an evening SLOWLY kissing and nibbling on the neck and ears, eventually combining with hands/fingers stimulating their breasts, nipples, etc, from behind.
11. Share three appreciations with your partner. Then have them share three things that they appreciate about you. Lastly, share three fears and then three hopes. Bask in the deep connection that happens.
12. Have a sex life check in. Start with what is really working/awesome, then follow with what you would like more of (if any).
13. Steam kiss your lover’s sensual parts (like when you clean your sunglasses by fogging them with your breath). Try to avoid touching them with your lips by hovering and sensually steam kissing all over their body.
14. Plan seemingly impossible adventures: what do you two want to do together? Then set a date to make them happen.
15. Explore erotic storytelling. Set a timer for 2 minutes and then one person gets to start an erotic story featuring all who are present. After the 2 minutes, reset the timer so the next person can add onto the story. Do this until you get so turned on that you cannot keep your hands of each other.
16. Blindfold your partner and then use feathers, make-up brushes and other soft household items for light tickling strokes on the erogenous zones. Ask your partner to mmmm if something feels really good. Get creative. Look around the house and try different things. Bonus points for adding some items that might provide a little sting or bite (but ask your partner first).
17. Cuddling. It never gets old. Get in a spooning position and align the breath. Little spoon guides and big spoon follows. Do this for 5-10 minutes in silence to come into a deeper connection.
18. Gently bathe your partner using a bath scrub, soft loofah and your favorite luxurious soap. Then carefully rinse and dry their entire body using a soft towel. Finish by spreading moisturizing body cream or oil all over your lover’s body.
19. Wash your lover’s hair for them. Give them a nice, long head massage as you shampoo.
20. Kiss and lick words on each other’s bodies, and then try guessing the words. Bonus points for licking action words and then having your partner act them out/perform them on you instead of verbally guessing.
21. Give your lover oral while they are preparing dinner or washing dishes.
22. Sit facing each other with your hands to each other’s heart. Meditate on the sensations and breath for 10 minutes.
23. Kiss and lick all around the tailbone, lower back, and sides.
24. Explore mutual masturbation. Ask your lover to pleasure themselves while you watch + pleasure yourself at the same time. Take in the hot eye candy in front of you, and perhaps take note of the way your partner likes to be touched.
25. Go on a date night to shop at your local sex shop – with the intention to buy something new to go home and try.
26. Take a sex ed class together. Check Blue Boutique’s event page to see what workshops are currently available! Can’t find one in your city? Check out the online classes at purepleasureshop.com
27. Try describing every movement or sensation that is happening in the present moment: “I’m touching your A and it feels B. I see your rubbing your C, and I want you to D”. Not only will this create presence, but it can also function as hot, sexy (AKA dirty) talk.
28. Have underwear (or naked) cooking/dinner nights. And then dance in the kitchen as your cook in your underwear.
29. Leave love notes all over the house for your lover. Bonus points for doing so in their suitcase when they leave on a (business) trip.
30. Get naked and play! Naked dancing/contact improv => naked wrestling => naked cuddle/massage => tie it all together by giving each other orgasms
31. Give your partner a pedicure. Wash and scrub their feet + give them a foot rub. Polish and filing optional. To turn up the heat, allow the hands to travel upward.
32. Give your partner a manicure. Scrub and soak their hands. Follow with a massage. Play with different types of touch, including feather touch. Run you finger very lightly on the front and back of all the partner’s fingers and palm. Turn up the heat by using the mouth to lick and suck on the fingers.
33. Spend 5 minutes eye-gazing in silence – with or without face-cradling.
34. Make processing sexy. After an intimate time with your partner, ask them to describe their recount of what just happened as if they were boasting to a good friend.
35. Play around with temperature play. Alternate between using your warm mouth and cooled hands (via ice water) to touch your partner.
36. Hug and hold it until you can both really feel each other’s heart beats.
37. Do 5 minutes of yoga side by side. Then 3 minutes of breathing side by side. Turn up the heat by wearing lingerie, or nothing at all.
38. Make a sexual activities jar. Keep putting in fantasies, ideas, and suggestions as you think of them. Whenever you feel like you want to spice things up, pull one out.
39. Read erotica together.
40. Watch an instructional sex-ed DVD together such as Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide Series (available at purepleasureshop.com…and don’t forget the discount code SHAMELESSPP for 15% off). Then practice.
41. Sit in your partner’s lap, facing each other: Rule: your partner cannot touch you with their own hands. Only you can guide them wherever you want them to go on your body. Play with this for a while and switch roles. Take note of how your partner likes to be touched by your hands.
42. Plan a 24 hour staycation where you pretend as if you are snowed in without power. Turn off all phones and electronics (except for some music on your mobile speaker perhaps), turn off all lights and only use candles. Build a fire in the fireplace if you have one. And let the connecting begin!
43. Have a hard time talking about fantasies? Write out your own erotic novel featuring you and your lover, and then read it to them or leave it somewhere for them to discover.
44. Turn your naked body into a decadent platter for your partner to eat off of.
45. Set mirrors up next to the bed and admire yourselves as you play.
46. Create together! A book group, a workshop, a themed-meetup, an offering for the community – anything that gets you two working together with those creative juices flowing.
47. Get the book “101 Nights of Great Sex” for 101 creative ideas for more sensual connection – and commit to doing 1-2 per week (available at purepleasureshop.com…and don’t forget the discount code SHAMELESSPP for 15% off).
48. Turn some porn on and use the audio to pretend like there are other people having sex in the same room as you.
49. Play with edging. Decide together on a timeframe in which to keep getting the other close to orgasm, but don’t bring them over the top until time is up. Could be one hour, could be a week.
50. Make a list of all of the places you’d love to have sex. Cities, outdoors, different places around the house, etc. Then start tackling that list!
Happy Holidays and ciao for now, April and Amy!