Anal-Are You Being Kind to Your Behind?
Here at Blue Boutique, we often times are asked how to keep anal sex safe and pain-free. Usually this is followed up with an inquiry about numbing lubes, gels or creams. The universal rule of anal play is this: Anal play of any kind should not be painful! Yes, even P-in-the-B should be completely painless… the fundamental truth is that if you are experiencing pain, you’re simply going about things the wrong way. And hey! That’s okay…the ladies at Sexy Blue Boutique can help show you the way to heavenly, painless bum play…no numbing cream required! Keep reading for some general tips and tricks….
Because pain is such a major issue when it comes to anal play, you have several options that make anal as safe (and pleasurable) as possible. First, we usually ask is if you are an anal newbie… As a newbie, you most likely will not be able to jump immediately into “penile penetration” (Or as I like to call it, P-in-the-B) anal sex. The bum is, as far as nature is concerned, an “exit only”; there is an almost certainty that if you try to just jump into anal sex, it will hurt, and it could most definitely cause you injury. But fret not! Safe, painless and pleasurable P-in-the-B is achieved with a little patience, relaxation and an understanding of your body’s responses.
So let’s say you are a total back door virgin but you and your partner are interested in P-in-the-B…
…what’s the first step? You might be interested in investing in a training kit like this Renegade Sliders Kit. Training kits usually come with three to five different sized plugs or dilators that you can use to sort of work your way up to anal sex. Start out with the smallest sized toy, and as your body becomes more relaxed, introduce the next size up! As you move to the largest size, it should be easier to accommodate for your partner. Kits come in a variety of sizes and materials and can fit any budget or preference. Note that silicone toys require water-based lubes only… but more on lubricants in just a moment!
So… when something like numbing lube and creams exist, why not just slather some numbing agent on and go to town?
Well… it turns out that by numbing your body’s natural response to pain, you could end up in a world of hurt once that stuff wears out. I can’t stress it enough: Anal should never hurt if you’re doing it safely! If you feel pain during any kind of anal play, something isn’t quite right. Pain could mean you’re doing too much too early, you aren’t relaxed enough, or you aren’t using enough lube. All of this can cause anal tearing, bleeding, hemorrhoids…you name it! Tears and hemorrhoids are painful, and tears and fissures can also introduce STD’s, bacterial and viral infections and so much more into the bloodstream.
Ingredients to watch out for are benzocaine, lidocaine, xylocaine… these are all topical anesthesia and numb you out. Additionally, numbing agents can also lead to tissue damage over time.
What we like to recommend instead is relaxing lubricants!
Anal should feel good! The key to anal bliss is relaxation…the more relaxed those muscles are, the less likely you are to cause injury. The more aroused you are, the more relaxed your muscles become, so make sure you incorporate a lot of foreplay (and maybe a few toys too!) to ensure maximum relaxation. We sell anal lubricants, like Pjur Analyse Me! Silicone Lubricant, that have relaxing agents in them, like natural jojoba. Jojoba relaxes the anus’ muscles so sex is much easier and your less likely to hurt yourself.
Another option is to use silicone lubricant…
…preferably one with a thicker formula specifically made for anal. Because our bums aren’t self lubricating, water-based lubes tend to absorb very quickly into the skin, requiring more frequent reapplication to avoid too much friction. Because silicone doesn’t absorb into the skin, it creates a nice protective barrier over the skin, protecting against friction much better than water-based, and you won’t have to reapply! Silicone lubricants can also offer an extra buffer against potential infections and STD thanks to this non-absorbing barrier it creates, but it isn’t 100%! Make sure you ALWAYS use condoms when enjoying anal sex with a new partner! Luckily, almost all silicone lubricants are condom safe! Don’t be afraid to ask your sales associate if you aren’t sure.
Using silicone bum toys? No worries!
Nowadays, there are a ton of water-based anal lubricants available that mimic silicone both in viscosity and longevity. Pjur Analyse Me! also comes in a water-based formula, which incorporates hyaluron to act as a hyper-emollient… this means it lasts longer by drawing moisture from the air around it. Hyaluron binds water together like tiny little pillows to create a much better, longer lasting buffer. Another favorite is Sliquid, particularly their Sassy Gel, which is a thicker formula perfect for anal. Sliquid’s Organic Oceanics, is another great option! This lube incorporates seaweed extracts like Nori, Wakame and Carrageenan to help maintain moisture; Wakame does also help promote skin elasticity, which can be especially beneficial during anal play!