Blue Boutique Presents: A Sexologist that is LDS
My name is Melissa Jones. I’m a mom, a wife, a sexologist, and I am a Mormon. I will be coming to Blue Boutique June 27th, 2013 – June 29, 2013 to teach the following classes:
A little background: It was just a few years ago…. As stake young women president, I was representing our stake at a planning meeting for the area’s first multi-stake youth conference. We had been finalizing the topics for the workshops, discussing the schedule, and delegating assignments. During a lull in the meeting, my mind wandered to another endeavor of mine: becoming a sexologist. I had just completed my doctoral program and was preparing to open my own office and host an open house. I thought, “Am I ready for my friends to know what I do? How well will I be accepted?”
Up until this point I let very few people know of my educational goals–that I had resumed my postgraduate education to obtain a master’s degree and then a doctorate in, of all things, sexology! Initially, I didn’t even tell my own relatives. Only after receiving their acceptance, was I able to feel that I could pursue such a career. But how would other LDS friends and members react? Would I be released from my calling, would my children and husband be impacted at church?
So, here I sat among these leaders—brothers and sisters with whom I had worked for years—ready to let the world know that Sister Melissa Jones, stake young women president, was also a practicing sexologist.
So, what the heck is a sexologist? As a sexologist, I work with couples and individuals to address their sexuality and intimacy interests, concerns, and goals so they can achieve sexual fulfillment. This is done by enhancing sexual competency through technique-based exercises designed to advance their sexual knowledge and skills. In more general terms, sexology is the study and application of sex! It encompasses such fields as psychology, sociology, medicine, anthropology, biology and more. As a sexologist I have received extensive education and training in the field of human sexuality. As a unique discipline, it is relatively new (how many sexologists do you know?), so I continue to expand my knowledge and understanding in an effort to be able to provide clients with the most accurate and up to date information.
Some of the more common problems that a sexologist deals with include: lack of desire, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, orgasmic dysfunctions, premature or delayed ejaculation, and sexual pain. Other issues include gender identity, same-sex attraction, as well as edge-play fetishes. Also of critical importance are the relationship dynamics including the communication between partners regarding their sex life.
My goal is to help couples communicate better so they can have mind blowing-sex! I’m confident that God intends it to be that way. Is there anything I won’t do? Just in case you were wondering, I do not have sex with clients. (I get asked that question a lot). I don’t do profound psychotherapy or marriage counseling which typically try to uncover patients’ past dysfunctions with the expectation of only returning them back to baseline. I leave significant emotional, marital, and mental health problems to other specialists.
Sexologists help you help yourself. We foster a safe environment where you can communicate, understand, and focus on defining and achieving the goals of your sexual and relationship issues, under the guidance and direction of a trained professional. …back to my church meeting….
When I reorient myself, I’ve discover that they’ve resumed a discussion of youth dress standards. I sigh quietly. I’ve become weary of rehashing this topic. Modesty is not the preeminent issue facing our teenage girls today! When it comes to issues of sex, we need to teach them to be strong and empowered—to understand on a deeper level why they should say no to sex: because of the fluid-bonding that takes place, because of the addiction potential that a young man can cause in the nucleus accumbens of the brain (Romeo and Juliet syndrome), because of the neuronal development that shapes our sexual desires. We need to really be talking to our youth about sex! We need to share with them that sex is beautiful and wonderful and desired. Not the message that young women should be responsible for the impossible task of regulating a young man’s desires.
My consciousness is again whipped back to the reality of the situation, and my gut is telling me that I won’t be doing both of these jobs much longer. I had served in callings with the young women for most of my married life: beehive advisor, ward secretary, stake camp director, counselor in the stake young women presidency and finally as stake young women president. I was going to miss it, but I was ready to do what only I could do, and it was time to do it. I had the support of my bishop, my husband, my extended family, and my children.
It was now time to accept my new calling: Mormon Sexologist. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing since coming out of the closet. Some days I joyfully celebrate my clients’ successes, and there are those days that I sorrow over the heartache I feel from their discouragements. But how many people can say they read scriptures and talk about orgasms in the same conversation? I love my job! Private consultation sessions for women and couples. A one on one sexuality consultation is a perfect way to personally address sexual issues, concerns, and goal. To arrange a session with me in Salt Lake City, visit my website MJSexologist.com or call 210-487-0371.
Here’s what past attendee’s have said about the Sexuality Seminars at Blue Boutique: Dr. Jones, Thanks for asking me to write about our experiences together. I’d be happy to. I’d just ask that if this is to be shared with others, that our names not be used. Thanks, R “A couple of months ago, my wife told me that she’d heard that a Mormon sexologist was coming to teach classes at Blue Boutique. Being very conservative, my wife was interested in hearing what she would say (and of course anything that gets my wife interested in sex interests me). Admittedly, we were surprised that the Blue Boutique and a nice Mormon woman would partner up, but we’re glad they did. We got up the courage to attend one of her classes at the Sugarhouse store. My wife was worried that someone may see us there, but we decided that the main part of the store was really no different than what you’d see in the mall. Let’s just say that the class was great! Dr. Jones was very friendly and easy to listen to. She had great insights into the challenges that LDS couples face regarding intimacy. She was able to address delicate sexuality topics without beating around the bush and by using straight-forward language. It was refreshing and uplifting to hear a conservative speak positively about sex. After the presentation, we weren’t able to meet with Dr. Jones because others were visiting with her, but we called her office the following week to see about setting up a telephone-appointment with her. We’ve only had a couple of appointments with her by video chat, but it’s been great having the one-on-one time with her. She has given my wife and I some fun assignments to help bring us closer together. My wife says that it’s really awakened something in her and this newfound intimacy has rejuvenated us and made us feel young again.”