Anal sex, eh? Shut the front door! No, really. Shut the front door, and open the back one, because this piece is definitely for you. I can appreciate your curiosity and can also help you approach the subject with your partner in a way that will turn excellent results. So here are my top ten anal sex tips, in order of course, from conception of the idea to execution.
This is an obvious first rule. Doesn’t mean it isn’t still the most important of the bunch, in my opinion. If you don’t talk about it, and haven’t done it, I wouldn’t recommend going through with it blindly……bad idea. The whole “Sorry it was an accident” excuse doesn’t work on ladies of a certain age who have heard it before. Especially not your girlfriend. If she doesn’t know it’s going to happen, it’s going to hurt. And whether it’s an accident or not, let your friend who HAS done this tell you what mood his girlfriend was in afterward. Not pretty…… Keep the communication open. Talk to your partner about your fantasies about anal sex and all points on this list. What excites you about it? In what positions do you think she would look the hottest? She needs to hear these things. Building her ego about it will make her want to go for it that much more, and will help a reluctant girl realize that you aren’t going to hurt her, and that you are well versed on the subject. Speaking of the female ego, as ladies who are okay with anal sex, it is perfectly okay to mention it first. I have been with partners in the past who mentioned it first in a negative light, but after I gave my positive opinion they were totally on board. I feel like a lot of men think that most girls aren’t into it, because of previous bad experiences. In turn, they simply either don’t mention it, or pretend they don’t like it….in hopes of feeling you out. As confident women, we don’t have to be afraid to tell our partners what we are into. So just say it and be proud that you are probably having better sex than people who are too shy to approach new subjects. Don’t do all the talking though. Listen to your partner’s concerns/questions and make sure you are both honest with one another. Only with communication does anything work out for both parties, anal sex is no different at all.
Mood matters a lot for anal and romance can enhance the mood to perfection. Do the things your partner loves the most during foreplay. A nice warm up will make me say yes to almost anything. A couple of glasses of wine will do the trick, as well. Just sayin’. However you “get in the mood”, do it. Anal is all about feeling adventurous and getting to that certain point where you are ready to take on something new. Stroking your partners’ ego and going the extra mile to create a special vibe will totally pay off for you.
I cannot stress enough how important, not to mention necessary, this step is. I think we all know what our anus is usually used for. Let’s keep it clean, people! Avoid horror and embarrassment by giving yourself an enema. Giggle all you want, I’ll even giggle right along with you. But for real…..don’t be that girl. Enemas are cheap and easy to use. You won’t regret doing it, even though it makes you feel a little weird. It gives you peace of mind and the confidence to be your sexy self with no mishap. Your partner won’t even have to know what you are doing in the bathroom for 30 minutes before sex. We’re chicks and we’re supposed to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. He’s getting anal, he can wait a few minutes for quality control.
Your anus is the only sexual orifice that doesn’t lubricate itself. Lube is always a good idea. There are so many different types, but from my experience and from listening to others, Pjur (pronounced “pure”) seems to be the best bet all the way around. However, choosing one with your partner is always a fun way to get in the mood and to bond even further. When actually applying the lube, a finger is fine. But you may also want to look into “lube shooters”. These are basically little hollow syringes that you can insert and inject the lube directly inside. Lube can get messy, especially when you have to use a lot, so a syringe can be a very handy tool. There are also numbing lubes specifically designed for anal sex. I would recommend this product for a first timer, and anyone who is just a little nervous about it hurting. If you take all the precautions, pain should not be a problem. But having a product that will ensure you won’t feel any pain, can’t hurt either. Clearly.
I know this may be a very hard step for a lot of people. Being tense will mean that your muscles are tense. It doesn’t feel too good if you are locking up your muscles in anticipation of insertion. Just relax….his penis isn’t going to kill you. If it’s painful, stop. Using a numbing cream and relaxing will make it a much easier process. Once you get through initial insertion and relax all your muscles, it will actually feel pleasurable. After a few strokes you “loosen up”, for lack of a better phrase. I feel initial insertion was the scariest part for me. After you get it into first gear so to speak, it’s easy after that and you become more confident in the act. Being more confident and being relaxed sort of go hand in hand here.
6. Take things slow
Don’t rush things. Sex is meant to be enjoyed. A new position or venture such as anal sex should be approached with excitement but rushing things steals all the passion from the situation. A patient lover is a good one. When was the last time you executed a brand new idea perfectly the first try? It’s understandable if you are a little scared of anal sex because of a bad experience, so having a partner that understands this and is patient makes all the difference in the world. You have many more opportunities to explore things with your partner. Enjoy each time for the new experience and you will actually make memories instead of just getting off.
Toys are a fun way to introduce the subject. There are so many different types of plugs that range from cutesy and girly, to full on S&M. There are even ones with vibrations and so forth. But, before I get ahead of myself here….You know your partner. Would they prefer to shop for it with you, or would they appreciate a surprise? Either way, using a plug or a probe is a great way to get used to the feel and to be more relaxed and receptive for anal intercourse. Not to mention your partner can get an awesome, kinky view while helping you out with your toy. That’s always a plus. Men are visual creatures, after all. Choose a toy that works for you both and go for it.
In my own experience, any position where your partner enters from behind is much easier and feels better than just lying on your back. There are more opportunities for it to hurt if you are on your back. Again, only in my experience. Doggy style makes your backside much more accessible…go ahead, try and argue me on that one. I feel it also adds to the naughty vibe that you are doing something new and exciting. On your stomach lying flat is also a great way to stay relaxed and be comfortable. Entering from behind in these positions will be easier for the guys. Even though you will be doing most of the work, you can clearly see what you are doing and also get an amazing view at the same time.
9. Body cues
Pay attention to your partners body and vocal cues. Is she pushing back against you? That is probably a cue that you can let back on the reigns and enjoy yourself more, if you know what I mean. Is she pulling away? Stop and try a new tactic. Vocal cues are much easier to read. You know what your partner sounds like when she is having a good time. When she sounds this way, keep up the good work. No noise at all when she is usually vocal? Yeah, change things up and try something else.
While I enjoy anal sex, begging for it can get old. If your partner doesn’t want to do it this particular go round, let it slide. Begging can kill the mood for a lot of people. And as we know, there is a lot of preparation that goes into anal. Spontaneous anal isn’t really all that doable. Asking for it in the heat of the moment will almost always result in a “no”. Prep time makes a difference. I also believe that anal sex is something that should continue to feel new and exciting. Doing it all the time makes it boring, and it loses its kinky effect. Keeping things fresh is ideal and feeling butterflies is a rare experience. We should all be so lucky to experience that. So, enjoying in moderation is a nice way to ensure you feel the high that you should when you have anal sex.
Has she said yes yet? I hope so. Anal sex is a fantastic way to bond even closer with your partner, and to keep things exciting. Take the time and effort to understand all your partners concerns. Above all else, enjoy yourselves! This is sex, after all. Let the stress go and try something new. What do you really have to lose? Cheers from Blue Boutique downtown, and I’ll see you guys next time! No really, don’t get up. I can just let myself out the back door.