My name is Melissa Jones. I’m a mom, a wife, a sexologist, and I am a Mormon. I will be coming to Blue Boutique June 27th, 2013 – March 29, 2013 to teach the following classes:
Note: The March 21st -March 23rd Classes have been canceled.
Buy Tickets Now / Live Stream Tickets
BDSM & Kink Seminar - 06/28/2013 – 9:30 pm – 10:30 pm
Buy Tickets Now / Live Stream Tickets
Fabulous Fellatio. Women Only - 06/29/2013 – 10:00 am – 11:00 am
Buy Tickets Now / Live Stream Tickets
Amazing Orgasms for Him & Her. Couples Class – 06/29/2013 – 9:30 pm – 10:30 pm
Buy Tickets Now / Live Stream Tickets
A little background: It was just a few years ago…. As stake young women president, I was representing our stake at a planning meeting for the area’s first multi-stake youth conference. We had been finalizing the topics for the workshops, discussing the schedule, and delegating assignments. During a lull in the meeting, my mind wandered to another endeavor of mine: becoming a sexologist. I had just completed my doctoral program and was preparing to open my own office and host an open house. I thought, “Am I ready for my friends to know what I do? How well will I be accepted?”
Up until this point I let very few people know of my educational goals–that I had resumed my postgraduate education to obtain a master’s degree and then a doctorate in, of all things, sexology! Initially, I didn’t even tell my own relatives. Only after receiving their acceptance, was I able to feel that I could pursue such a career. But how would other LDS friends and members react? Would I be released from my calling, would my children and husband be impacted at church?
So, here I sat among these leaders—brothers and sisters with whom I had worked for years—ready to let the world know that Sister Melissa Jones, stake young women president, was also a practicing sexologist.
So, what the heck is a sexologist? As a sexologist, I work with couples and individuals to address their sexuality and intimacy interests, concerns, and goals so they can achieve sexual fulfillment. This is done by enhancing sexual competency through technique-based exercises designed to advance their sexual knowledge and skills. In more general terms, sexology is the study and application of sex! It encompasses such fields as psychology, sociology, medicine, anthropology, biology and more. As a sexologist I have received extensive education and training in the field of human sexuality. As a unique discipline, it is relatively new (how many sexologists do you know?), so I continue to expand my knowledge and understanding in an effort to be able to provide clients with the most accurate and up to date information.
Some of the more common problems that a sexologist deals with include: lack of desire, performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction, orgasmic dysfunctions, premature or delayed ejaculation, and sexual pain. Other issues include gender identity, same-sex attraction, as well as edge-play fetishes. Also of critical importance are the relationship dynamics including the communication between partners regarding their sex life.
My goal is to help couples communicate better so they can have mind blowing-sex! I’m confident that God intends it to be that way. Is there anything I won’t do? Just in case you were wondering, I do not have sex with clients. (I get asked that question a lot). I don’t do profound psychotherapy or marriage counseling which typically try to uncover patients’ past dysfunctions with the expectation of only returning them back to baseline. I leave significant emotional, marital, and mental health problems to other specialists.
Sexologists help you help yourself. We foster a safe environment where you can communicate, understand, and focus on defining and achieving the goals of your sexual and relationship issues, under the guidance and direction of a trained professional. …back to my church meeting….
When I reorient myself, I’ve discover that they’ve resumed a discussion of youth dress standards. I sigh quietly. I’ve become weary of rehashing this topic. Modesty is not the preeminent issue facing our teenage girls today! When it comes to issues of sex, we need to teach them to be strong and empowered—to understand on a deeper level why they should say no to sex: because of the fluid-bonding that takes place, because of the addiction potential that a young man can cause in the nucleus accumbens of the brain (Romeo and Juliet syndrome), because of the neuronal development that shapes our sexual desires. We need to really be talking to our youth about sex! We need to share with them that sex is beautiful and wonderful and desired. Not the message that young women should be responsible for the impossible task of regulating a young man’s desires.
My consciousness is again whipped back to the reality of the situation, and my gut is telling me that I won’t be doing both of these jobs much longer. I had served in callings with the young women for most of my married life: beehive advisor, ward secretary, stake camp director, counselor in the stake young women presidency and finally as stake young women president. I was going to miss it, but I was ready to do what only I could do, and it was time to do it. I had the support of my bishop, my husband, my extended family, and my children.
It was now time to accept my new calling: Mormon Sexologist. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing since coming out of the closet. Some days I joyfully celebrate my clients’ successes, and there are those days that I sorrow over the heartache I feel from their discouragements. But how many people can say they read scriptures and talk about orgasms in the same conversation? I love my job! Private consultation sessions for women and couples. A one on one sexuality consultation is a perfect way to personally address sexual issues, concerns, and goal. To arrange a session with me in Salt Lake City, visit my website MJSexologist.com or call 210-487-0371.
Here’s what past attendee’s have said about the Sexuality Seminars at Blue Boutique: Dr. Jones, Thanks for asking me to write about our experiences together. I’d be happy to. I’d just ask that if this is to be shared with others, that our names not be used. Thanks, R “A couple of months ago, my wife told me that she’d heard that a Mormon sexologist was coming to teach classes at Blue Boutique. Being very conservative, my wife was interested in hearing what she would say (and of course anything that gets my wife interested in sex interests me). Admittedly, we were surprised that the Blue Boutique and a nice Mormon woman would partner up, but we’re glad they did. We got up the courage to attend one of her classes at the Sugarhouse store. My wife was worried that someone may see us there, but we decided that the main part of the store was really no different than what you’d see in the mall. Let’s just say that the class was great! Dr. Jones was very friendly and easy to listen to. She had great insights into the challenges that LDS couples face regarding intimacy. She was able to address delicate sexuality topics without beating around the bush and by using straight-forward language. It was refreshing and uplifting to hear a conservative speak positively about sex. After the presentation, we weren’t able to meet with Dr. Jones because others were visiting with her, but we called her office the following week to see about setting up a telephone-appointment with her. We’ve only had a couple of appointments with her by video chat, but it’s been great having the one-on-one time with her. She has given my wife and I some fun assignments to help bring us closer together. My wife says that it’s really awakened something in her and this newfound intimacy has rejuvenated us and made us feel young again.”
I am very interested in what you have to say. We have been married for 36 years. The last several years our sex life has gone to about zero. She has put on a lot of weight and doesn’t feel good about herself. The doctor has given her hormone pills with no results. She has no desire for sex at all. So when we do have sex it’s just a ok get it over with thing. I’m really struggling with this. I try to encourage her to find ways to help us out but she just don’t like to talk about it. So we would really appreciate any help we can get. We once had a Stake Pres. in a special meeting for couples say as long as both of you feel ok with it do what ever it takes to keep the flame burning. I tell my wife that and she says I don’t agree with what he. She thinks he is wrong.
Please help us!
Thank you,
Russ
Russ,
I sympathize with your situation. It’s tough when one spouse has a higher sex drive than the other. It’s encouraging that she was willing to talk to her doctor about her low sex drive and was willing to try hormone supplements. Hopefully that means that even though she has no sex drive, she wants to have a sex drive. For the record, I agree with your stake president, but it only matters if your and your wife are in agreement with each other, and it sounds like you two are not. I wonder if she’d be willing to come to one of the classes that I’ll be holding at the Blue Boutique at the end of January or if the two of you would be interested in a consultation session with me by phone/Facebook/Skype.
Thanks for your reply, I’ll talk to her about the consultation with you and the class.
Could you please remove my name from this page and the blue boutique page advertising where it says: my name and your sexology class. I don’t want my name showing up anywhere other people can see it.
Thank you,
Russ
Melissa,
My wife and I would love to have a consultation with you via Skype. We are also going to attend one of you classes at the start of next month. Of course, we would love to be able to have a consultation before then too. We want to be able to figure out sex drive for my wife ASAP. Thank you!
I’m looking forward to seeing you at the Blue Boutique seminar. We can certainly chat via Skype prior to the class. Here is the link to my website which will guide you though the process of setting up a consultation session with me. http://MJSexologist.com. If you have any questions, you can email me at doctor@MJSexologist.com or call my office at 210-487-0371.
I am @ a loss. My husband of 27 yrs. (On Feb. 14th 2013) has been so patient with me. We have not had sex for almost 5 yrs. We were in a car accident and I had a head injury. We had an awesome sex life before that. I feel like he doesnt deserve to be stuck with me. I have friends tell me I better give him something or he will find it somewhere else. We have a 20 year temple marriage. I need help.
DSN,
I can only begin to imagine how challenging your situation must be for you and your husband. Though nowhere near as long, I’ve been quite under the weather for the past few weeks and as a result, sex around my house has been more lacking than it has been in a very long time. I can certainly relate to feeling that my husband deserves more than I can give him . . . and I’m a SEXOLOGIST! In fact, I just wrote a blog that deals with this exact issue. Blue Boutique should be posting it soon.
Of course, it would be overly simplistic for me to address a situation such as yours via one posting on a forum. My first question would be, why not have sex? I’m sure there’s a good answer, just that I can’t see it at the moment. I assume that you’ve talked to your husband about your desire to fulfill his sexual needs. How did that turn out? If you’d like to set up a phone session to talk with me, visit my website.
When I found you I was looking for the theropist that my doctor had recomended. I truly feel I was guided to you. I know some of the blocks I have are religion based. I was taught that sex was for procreation not to be used for pleasure. I have 3 boys I noticed that as they became teenagers I felt less and less like sex was okay. That if they knew we had sex then they would think it was okay to have sex before marriage. I get very angery when I try and just have sex and get it over. I ball up my fists, grit my teeth and close my eyes tight till its over. So not how it used to be we were free and open and would try about anything. I find all the bad and disgusting things about sex in our society and point them out to my husband all the time and he hates it. It is so not who I used to be. It is so frustrating for me.
I certainly support anyone who feels that therapy would benefit them. I am confident that sex is for pleasure and there are many LDS authorities who support this. I look forward to chatting with you privately.
Hello Melissa,
I am 18 yrs old and I am seriously confused. I’m wondering what you think about masturbation. The church NEVER talks about it, and it makes me so frustrated and embarrassed and ashamed! Sometimes I think that it’s okay, and other times I wonder if I should be talking to my bishop and repenting. I’m interested in your opinion. Thanks!
MormonGirlProbz,
This is a very charged issue, more so than it probably ought to be, but in this case it is compounded by a relatively young age, not being married, and by being LDS. I realize that this may not necessarily alleviate your confusion, and it doesn’t help that there are so many sources of information and advice on the subject. I do have an opinion, but not one that universally applies to everyone in all situations. I would counsel you to make your own decision on this topic. If you are still “seriously confused” feel free to contact me directly.
Melissa-
Do you think it’s right for women to fake Os? Is that lying or normal? I’ve never had one “the normal way” and I’m wondering if it’s wrong to keep faking them. My husband tries, but there’s something he’s not hitting. And about the other girl’s question, is it normal to masturbate as a married Mormon?
*PS: I want tickets but I can’t tell if the live stream, and the in-person events are the same price or not*